Are you an egoist?

Usually we consider egoism as a vice, which we are trying to root out since our childhood. Because the person which share some and take care of others is much more useful and valuable for society  than the one at first concerned for his own well-being. But what is more beneficial for the person itself-  egoism or the other extremeness –altruism ? And does egoism as a human characteristic always exist only with the negative sign?

The great example  of the possitive egoism is demonstrated for us every time we are flying by plane. When a flight attendant  teach us how to act in the event of unforseen and different critical cases during the flight. When the oxygen mask falls out, first af all you  have to put on it yourself and only then to do that for your child and help others.  First of all – yourself! So what if you, being concerned with the welfare of other, such as our child, faint first ? Who will be going to look after your beloved, if you won‘t be able to take care of yourself in time ?

I suggest considering egoism not as a vice, but one of the implements for your survival and proper care of yourself and others. Egoism is a natural characteristic of every human being.  It is the self-preservation and the result of insticts necessary to survive. To fight with the nature inside is very difficult and unusful. The best way is to accept the human nature as it is, than fight with yourself. Simply what we can do – just admit the existention of our egoism, take of the condenced negativity and make it the ally of yours instead of leaving in the role of imaginary enemy and the endless sourse of your shame, creating more and more personal complexes. As soon as we admit the wholesome egoism, wich is natural feauture of each individual, we will decrease the hipocrisy all around and will recognise ourselves the way we are. Then we will start breathing easily and better understand one another (increased empathy).

By the way, altruism in this contexts is perfect pretext to run away from yourself, but not to save the world. Let‘s try to analise some of your actions, hidden by your kindness,  as a pretext not to do,  what you actually need feeling better with yourself. Giving yourself some time and space or seeking for an inner comfort  is not just an external (superficial) action. In fact, it requires quite much patience and your inner work. So we would rather put this work off and then start „helping“ others and feeling necessary. Because if  others need us, we put a plus for ourselves for being self-precious.  We should note, who exactly creates our reality: the environment or ourselves ?

We are raised in such a culture, where we are supposed to desire things other than our welfare in order to get welfare. What about the negative meaning of egoism- it exactly confirms this attitude. Being an egoistic persons is emphatically  forbidden in our society. So to face about egoism is even useful for us. Because the wholesome egoism creates the love for myself.  Whereas a self-loving person, able to satisfy one‘s needs, is a happy person, next to is nice to be. Question- why is it so ? Because the human being is a social creature who needs the others to satisfy his various needs. One of them is the desire to share each other. We share what we have and who we are. Thus, if we are happy, the source of our happiness and joy also feed others and  bounce back with reward.

A happy one spreads the possitive energy all around. But what is able to share angry, unhappy and overtired  person, who hasn‘t seen about his personal happiness and everything have distributed to others ? Complaints ? Grumbling ? Altruism is very fair when it is real. Unfortunatelly, I haven‘t seen such an altruist, who  gave everything he had to others, and now having a lack of  possitive energy, but still is happy.

Furthermore, motion from egoism (concern for one’s own interests and welfare) to altruism (unselfish concern for the welfare of others ) is pretty hipocrytical. We pretend to be not egoistic one‘s,  restricting this feature and usually in vain. Herewith we lie as if we did everthing for others well-being. Reproaches, having sacrificed everything for you while you are leaving me now and don‘t look after me or don‘t pay attention, is caused by the pique.  That means you gave something selfishly, in the near or futher future looking forward to getting the reward from your spouse, child or other person.  Indeed, we ought to  recognise here the hypocrytical and harmful  altruism with description of notional calculators in our heads, which one day starts counting one and another inputs and interests in our relationship.  Behind such a perversed altruism  always hides constrained and unconscious egoism.

Giving by lack is really painful and hard. It is obvious- what can you give others having nothing by your own ? How can you concern for the welfare of your family or loved one happiness and peace, if you feel the disharmony inside?

Moreover, giving by the lack and shortage makes one‘s nothing but a victim. The pure giving without  self-regarding desires  arises from the surpluses.  So first of all, what one‘s have to do- to create his inner comfort.  And only then he can share his goodness and warmth with joy. Therefore, I want to congratulate the sane egoism,which leads each of us to natural and bright altruism. Because taking care of yourself as much as others with consciousness is natural and beneficial process for every individual.  In general, don‘t forget to look after yourself and your welfare to be capable to look after others. 

1 Comment

  1. December 11, 2014

    This blog is cool, keep up the good work!

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